Rebirthday #8

This girl had just done inpatient, started therapy, started IOP, and moved into the city. She’s the patron saint of sparkle punching.

(In case you don’t know, I think of the day I went inpatient for suicidal thoughts [3/20/13] as my Rebirthday!)

Last weekend, I did a group meditation (who am I??) on the future self and past self. The only thing I could think to say to my 10-years-ago self was, “Stop crying over boys and work on your thesis.” (Books before bros?)

With that out of the way and my Rebirthday fresh on my mind, I then thought back to my eight-years-ago self.

Man, that girl had guts.

She walked up to a nurse in the ER and said out loud the kind of thoughts she was having.

She chose to stay in the hospital with complete strangers (and her depression and anxiety) for five days.

(And she still stayed after immediately panicking about that decision, haha.)

She admitted to her family that things really weren’t okay. So not okay that she had suicidal thoughts, and not just thoughts, a plan.

I am in awe of that girl. I don’t know that I could do any of those things today.

And she was so diligent in tending to her mental health after inpatient too. For months, she went to intensive outpatient four days a week + therapy one day a week and worked a full-time job. She read every book her therapist recommended. She went to retreats and yoga classes specifically for “women with trauma.”

I have no advice for her. I could use some advice from her, actually! I feel like I’ve lost so much of the spark and dedication that she had. (Although, to be fair, nothing will zap it quite like losing a very good friend and experiencing a global pandemic in back to back years….)

But I do get glimpses of her sometimes. Like when I recently got up the nerve to get a second opinion about the horrible physical and mental symptoms I’ve been having along with my period. The second NP I saw really listened to me and actually had me answer the questions that determine if you have PMDD. Sure enough, I met the criteria. (I had already wondered about that here.)

And I think eight-years-ago me is the part of me that makes sure I track my mood, a recent assignment from the psych NP. And what do you know? Consistent mood tracking showed me the cyclical nature of my drastic mood/mental state changes, thus giving me months of evidence to present the GYN NPs. It also showed me how nuanced my feelings truly are. (i.e. I’m not just anxious all the time.)

While I do often think of my various inner children, this was the first time in a long time that I’d thought of 26-year-old me. I need to fix that because she’s pure magic. She didn’t realize it, but she still had so much life in her, even in her darkest moments.

I want to be her when I grow up. 💜

Linking up with Andrea and Erika!

Friday Favorites: Neonstruck

(FYI: I make a small commission for purchases or clicks made through links in this post.)

When I saw that Tif over at Bright on a Budget had the same AC/DC shirt as me, I thought it would be fun to try to recreate her style. In six years, I don’t think we’ve ever matched!

Tif is one of my oldest blogging friends! We met in 2015 when I started linking up with High Five for Friday. Though I’d started my blog in 2014, I posted very erratically until finding H54F. To Sparkle Punch would probably be long defunct without it! Plus, H54F brought me other great blog friends, in addition to Tif! And as we know from last week, that is the mark of a successful blogger! 😁

AC/DC tee (Old Navy)

Girlfriend jeans (Amazon)

Birkenstock Arizona Essentials in rose (other colors)

Rebecca Minkoff Multi Zip Crossbody (eBay)

Apple Watch Band (Etsy)

Headband (Five Below LOL)

(And my personal favorite pose: Sassy McSasspot, hahaha.)

I didn’t buy anything special for this outfit, I just raided my closet!

I looove these Birks—they’re so cute and comfy!

I don’t know that the boyfriend jeans trend is for me, but these ones from Amazon are pretty stretchy and soft. I had a gift card, so I took a chance!

Yes, I got the headband from Five Below—and I wear it more than any other, naturally. 😂

And lastly, this bag. AH! I LOVE IT. I usually carry bigger bags that can accommodate a water bottle, but since you can’t take your mask off in stores to drink, why bother. This RM bag is the perfect size—small but surprisingly roomy, thanks to a bunch of pockets. And it’s buttery soft! I can’t believe I scored it on eBay for only $33 (including shipping)! Best of all? I get to channel Mica! 💖

It was so fun to a.) wear “normal” clothes (jeans) and makeup for the first time in nearly a year and b.) emulate someone else’s style/poses and get creative in that way! I enlisted Pops as my photographer, and he also really liked this concept! (He was an art student in high school and college.)

Bonus: Later that day, the like 16-year-old checker at CVS told me this was the greatest AC/DC shirt he’s ever seen. 😂🤟😂

Linking up with Andrea and Erika!

Friday Favorites: Memories with a friend

In honor of my dear friend Kristin’s birthday today, I wanted my “favorites” to be about her. So here are some of my favorite early memories with her! Kristin was truly the coolest, funniest person ever. Indeed, I lamented to her mom this week, “Why am I not Kristin already?!” 😫😂

Cute as buttons

Kristin and I actually started out as blog friends! She lived twenty minutes away, and yet our paths never would have crossed without blogging. This was many moons (and blogs) ago, in 2008. I remember seeing other bloggers talk about having text-level (!!) relationships with their blog friends, and to me, that meant you’d made it as a blogger.

The first time my bffl (we co-wrote our blog) and I met Kristin in person, she posted about it afterward, and said we were, DIRECT QUOTE, “cute as buttons”!! That stamp of approval had us practically skipping around our dorm room with glee. “KRISTIN THINKS WE’RE CUTE AS BUTTONS!!!!” 😂😂

Windex Margaritas

When Sophie (bffl) and I graduated from undergrad, Kristin very sweetly took us out to dinner. (I think we were skipping around the dorm when we got that invite too, haha.) Margaritas were her drink of choice at the time, so we copy-cats got them too, and mine was blue. Like, Windex blue. So we started calling it a “Windex Margarita.” Also, my fries came in this weird cylindrical thing, so Kristin dubbed them my “ice cream fries”!

This was the first time we really hung out, I believe, and I look back on that spring night so fondly. With graduation days away, it was the end of an era… but also the start of another. Sophie moved away right after graduation, and while she’s still my bffl, Kristin eventually took over the role of in-person bestie (/therapist 😁).

New family

I’m not the biggest fan of my birthday. But in 2012, Kristin gave me the sweetest little birthday “party.” (The guest list was three people: Kristin, her boyfriend, and their cat.) She got me a tiara, like five birthday cards (we are card-loving soulmates), the North Face backpack I’d been eyeing (like WHAAAT), and chocolate peanut butter cupcakes (my fave!). It was such a sweet little celebration, and it meant so much that she took the time to do that for me. (Though by this point, we were hanging out like three times a week and going to King of Prussia to buy dumb things at Sephora. If that’s not friendship, WHAT IS?)

But the new family didn’t stop there. I now know her parents and her sister well too. (And I still know her bf and their cat, of course!) 💖

Due to the time we spent together while Kristin was on hospice, her mom has truly become my second mom—we text almost every day! (Little did I know I would get a text-level relationship with another blogger AND her mom! 😂) I was devastated when I realized that she had to go home to South Carolina. I had gotten so used to her living with Kristin that I forgot that she actually didn’t!

So yeah, that’s our gal. One of the most hilarious, devoted friends you could ask for. 💖

It’s so bizarre to have this empty space in my life now, but the memories help. In the past, I always tried so hard to not mention a deceased loved one to someone who was grieving… but now that I’ve been the grieving person, it’s given me a much different perspective. I love talking about Kristin! It keeps her alive to me. 😊

Linking up with Andrea and Erika!

Friday Favorites: February buys

I would normally separate my budget posts and my H54F or Favorites posts, but I just don’t feel up to writing more than one post a week right now. I’m trying to be okay with that, haha. So, here we are!

(FYI: I make a small commission for purchases or clicks made through links in this post.)

Clothes

I had been looking for mauve joggers for months and just could not find the right ones. (I must have returned three different Amazon pairs.) These ones ($23) from Old Navy are the PERFECT shade of lavender-y pink and are very soft and comfy.

I love a good, boxy crop tee, so this ($11) Old Navy find was a must. It’s actually the only v-neck crop tee I have, oddly enough.

I had been listening to AC/DC a lot in January and February, so I was open to an AC/DC tee if I could find just the right one (since there are a lot of options out there at Target and whatnot). Enter the last of the Old Navy finds: this neon fever dream ($19) that is the polar opposite of “Back in Black.” (Kind of like sparkly me listening to AC/DC!) Super weird and I love it.

Two more pairs of fun leggings! I snagged both of these bad boys from Poshmark. Naturally, I needed a second pair of donut leggings ($5) in my life, and I loved the space ones ($15)!

I got this waterfall sweater ($8) from the same seller with the donut leggings. It’s a bit thinner than I thought it would be, and very staticky for some reason, but it is indeed cozy, so it gets the job done. (Any tips on making something less staticky? I do use dryer sheets, but they are apparently doing ZERO.)

Beauty

I try to go with other nighttime lip treatments/balms, but I always come back to Lanolips ($14)—it’s just the best. I got the mint flavor for the first time, and I really like it!

I ran out of my trusty Lush body scrub, so I decided to try out one of the Frank Body (gift card) ones. I love the smell of coffee and chocolate, so I went with that option, and it smells DIVINE. It also leaves my skin feeling super soft. However. It is aggressively scrubby. And it gets EVERYWHERE in the shower. 😣

Discounted brand-name lippies from Marshall’s have become a source of joy in these dark times. 😂 This month, I picked up Lime Crime’s Wet Cherry lip gloss in Cherry Crush ($6) and Winky Lux’s Steal My Heart sheer lipstick in Kiss Me ($6). I’d been wanting to try both of these brands for awhile, but they’re not exactly cheap. ($18 is only cheap at Sephora!) Don’t worry, the Lime Crime one is actually clear! Unfortunately, the Winky Lux one is very much not. I had googled it and thought it was described as sheer—apparently not! And I’m not completely sold on the Lime Crime one, consistency-wise. Mixed feelings all around. (Except on price!)

TOTAL: $107

I think (😂) my budget is $170, so I am shocked by this reasonable total! I have been using shopping as a coping skill way too much in these COVID times. 😬

What have you bought lately?

Linking up with Andrea and Erika!

Friday Favorites: Work from home edition

Happy Friday! I’ve been trying to come up with another type of fun post for Fridays, so that I’m not always limited to the NOTHING that is happening in my life right now. So, Friday Favorites! (Since I already link up with them anyway! 😂)

This week: A few of my favorite home office items! I’ve been working from home since our physical office closed last January (how freaking fortuitous), so I have fully overtaken part of our living room by now!

(FYI: I make a small commission for purchases or clicks made through links in this post.)

Okay, so the very aesthetically pleasing pic above is from the smaller desk in my bedroom that I mainly use for Zoom therapy. This is my actual work desk, in its tidiest form:

Desk Lamp

I’ve been searching for months for a bedroom lamp, so of course, I’ve found a desk lamp instead. I scored this cute iHome lamp for like $15-20 at Home Goods, and I’m very sorry to report that it apparently retails for SIXTY DOLLARS. Yeesh. If you can get it cheap enough, it’s a very nice little lamp. AND the base changes color, so you can give your office some sweet discotheque vibes! I’m partial to the sunny orangey-yellow color myself. ☀️

(By the way, my super cute moon planner is also from Home Goods! It’s by Fringe.)

Wrist Rests

I’ve had issues with my right wrist on and off since 2015, and they’ve apparently evolved into early stage carpal tunnel syndrome. YAY. (Well, my job is 8 hours of typing and mousing….) Normal wrist rests just weren’t cutting it anymore, so I picked up these bean bag-type guys because I could stack them together to create a wrist-and-forearm support. And OMG, they have been so helpful! My wrist doesn’t bother me while I’m working anymore! (I will say that I did start mousing on the other side around the time that I got these guys, so maybe both things are working together?)

Fun Mug

A fun mug with lots of pen options! What could be better? 🌈

Sadly, I can’t find this exact mug to link to it, but it’s from Five Below!

Not-So-Fake Fake Flowers

FLOWERS! They make everything better, even work! (Well…. they don’t hurt. 😂) I just love how they brighten up my space. They make me smile!

I’m not a big fan of silk flowers (since they so often look super fake), but these hydrangeas from Michael’s managed to meet my exacting standards. (And only partially because they’re purple!) I really love how they hang, which, to me, makes them more interesting than your average fake plant.

Michael’s also has EXCELLENT fake tulips that I (naturally) can’t find online, but you’ll know if you see them in-store because they’ll be the least fake-looking flowers in the whole area. The lavender tulips above are these tulips, and they are just everything I need and more, aesthetically.

But I’ve also heard good things about these fake tulips (that I can actually link to!) on Amazon.

Faux Footrest

Okay, and one hack. Necessity is the mother of invention, right?

If you do yoga at home, or for some other reason happen to have a foam yoga block lying around, that’s what I use as a foot rest. (If I don’t wear slippers at my desk, my feet juuuust don’t fully touch the ground.) A yoga block is great because it’s somewhat slip-resistant, so it won’t fly out from under you, but you can also easily kick it out of the way if you don’t need it at the moment. It doesn’t have to be fancy—a cheap one from Five Below or Target’s Dollar Spot will do. Just be mindful of thickness: get a thinner block if your feet almost touch the ground, and go thicker if you need to make up a lot of real estate.

Okay, now what awesome home office stuff have you guys found over this past crazy year?

Linking up with Andrea and Erika!