As I mentioned in my Day in the Life post, it's hard to see just how far you've come when you're caught in the day-to-day grind. I had a similar thought when I saw the band M83 a few weeks ago. Because I last saw them in 2012 (four whole years ago?!), it got me thinking about how much has changed in that time. It's so easy to focus on what we haven't done and to be disappointed with our lack of accomplishments when really, we're growing and changing all the time. The little things often turn out to be big things, right?
So in that spirit, let's revisit what I was doing in October 2012:
Hello, 2012 self with short hair and no make-up!
1. Living at home (ok, no change there!).
2. Working part-time in HR. (There's no way I would get a non-teaching job using my English degrees, right?)
Being very busy and important.
3. Relying entirely on public transportation. (It helped that I was working much closer to home back then!)
4. Writing/editing chapter three of my MA thesis. I definitely remember listening to "Wait" by M83 on repeat while writing about gender and sexuality in Fun Home and Persepolis. Like, hearing it in concert took me right back there. (😭)
Getting those images properly formatted in my thesis was such a struggle!
5. Going to a psychiatrist every so often but not being in therapy.
5 a. Spending a lot of time with friends to avoid being alone and anxious after work (since I would get done at 2 in the afternoon).
6. Being single.
7. Visiting Chicago for the second time!
Casually holding up the Bean with Timmi, as one does.
I think that I hate change, but a lot sure has changed (some of it almost imperceptibly) since 2012:
1. I lived in Philly! (2013)
1 a. ...And then I moved back home! 😂 (2014)
2. I got a full-time (non-teaching!) job that requires an English degree! (2013)
Before I left on day 1 of said job, Pops took a picture of me as if it were the first day of school. 👌
3. I started driving consistently for the first time in my life! (2015)
3 a. I BOUGHT A FREAKING CAR. I cannot overstate how unfathomable that would have been in 2012! (2016)
4. I finished my MA thesis and passed my defense! (Ok, that did happen in 2012, but after October. And I seriously wanted to give up the summer before I finished.)
5. I addressed my depression and recurring suicidal thoughts by going inpatient. (2013)
5 a. I started regularly going to therapy for the first time in my life. (2013)
5 b. I went to group therapy. (2013)
5 c. I started doing yoga and somatic healing. (2013)
5 d. I started EMDR. (2015)
6. My relationship with B started! (2013)
6 a. ...And ended 😔 (2016)
7. I visited Timmi in Chicago for the fifth time!
8. I started this blog! (2014)
Ok so I haven't saved the world. Or written a best-seller. Or started a family. And some of my accomplishments were not exactly age-appropriate (like, say, driving). But if we constantly minimize the things that we do, what are we left with? Disappointment? Negativity? Let's instead celebrate the "little" things, the ways that we've grown. Let's celebrate how far we've come on this continuous journey forward. <3