Well, this was a strange week, even for this strange time! Let’s see what brought the sparkle:

Not this first thing, but it did color the week. Two people that I know died. Now, I hadn’t talked to either one in years, nor was I ever really close with them, but their deaths still hit me hard. Perhaps because, in both cases, I know a lot of their family members and feel for them and wish I could share my condolences in person. Having just gone through this with Kristin—and having the heartbreak of that loss still very much a part of my daily life—it’s devastating that other people that have to go through it too. And mind-boggling that the people who died just… aren’t here anymore. That I’ll never hear about them again in the present tense. It just made for an odd, somber week.
Now that we’re done talking about death, let’s jump to trauma, shall we?! 😂 (This will be more positive, I swear.) In my yoga + trauma writing class this week, we looked at trauma in the context of a character’s journey in a story. That journey starts out on a linear path, with the character thinking that their life is always going to continue as it is now. Buuut then something happens to knock them off-course. That imagery dovetailed perfectly with some things that I’ve been talking about in therapy lately. I know who I was before trauma, and I know who I became afterward, and it feels like I completely lost the person I was before—almost like she died. But this week, I’ve noticed glimpses of the fun and carefree attitude that I had a kid, before anxiety began to rule my life. Is it possible that my “old” self wasn’t totally lost? Maybe I can still access and channel her carefree spirit. ❤️
Speaking of fun and carefree things (YAY), I have been playing A LOT of Harvest Moon: Animal Parade lately. (Who needs Animal Crossing?!) I’m starting to build up my farm, and I’m an excellent animal namer:

My animals are Chicky, Quacky, Lamby, and Pudge. Inadvertently kinda similar to Ms. Pac-Man’s ghosts (Winky, Pinky, Inky, and Sue)! 😂😂

I’ve also been enjoying Kalyn Nicholson videos again. (I get on these kicks with YouTubers where I’m super into them and then I just… lose interest.) I love vlogs in general, but gf is the queen of b-roll—all of her videos are gorge.

Lastly, is anyone else watching The Bachelor: Listen to Your Heart? It is pretty delightful trash, in the great tradition of The Bachelor. I mean, it’s really just a lot of this with the occasional song mixed in: